Monday, June 13, 2011

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

I took this picture just a little before 5 am from my hospital room the day Iris was born. Its not the clearest picture- but I love that hazy look- like something that got stuck between awake and asleep- dreaming but real. I thought in a romantic sort of way how lucky my little girl was to have this be her first look at our city- to come into the world on such a beautiful morning. The room and the view just continued to fill with light- and then she arrived.

The day leading up to Iris- it all flickers in my head slowly like images and muffled sound from an old projector that we used to watch movies from in grade school.Flick flick flick it goes replaying- eating breakfast with the boys... dropping off Ezra at school...going to see the midwife...buying some flowers to plant for a friend...buying flowers for my garden (which still need to be planted...) playing with Avery...packing a suitcase...talking or texting to family and friends that no, she's not here yet...picking Jamie up from work ...downloading music that I wanted to listen to during labor...wandering around Target for miscellany...feeling my first set of contractions hit...waiting to make sure they were contractions...waking Jay up with a, "honey, it's time..."...driving to the hospital...calling or texting family and friends that now she was on her way...checking into the hospital...laboring in the water...Jamie next to me holding my hand, supporting me the entire time...Mary, my midwife, encouraging me in way she knows that sailor mouth really letting loose...finally getting to see this tiny beautiful baby in my arms...the light that completely filled our room...looking earlier in the day to my garden and seeing that a single June Iris had opened on the last day of is all clear and swampy at the same time- slow motion and fast forward all at once- a romantic comedy and at times a horror film spliced together, now interwoven with all the other amazing scenes from my little life.
I know I haven't been around much in the last two weeks...I've missed you- and although I know I won't be back completely for a while, I am thinking of you. I am taking pictures when I can (not just baby pictures!) and filing fun things and stories I want to share in the forefront of my thoughts, so that when I do have a little more time I will be here. I hope you will be too.

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